So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Can you repeat that, but with context?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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