dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I would fuck him just for his dog
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
