We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
