literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
