i was rollin on her like bob the builder
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
