So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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