i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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