I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
