my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
