There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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