i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
