You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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