FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
