how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
