its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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