I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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