I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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