THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He passed out mid-signature
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
