Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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