Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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