i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
