So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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