You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
