So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
