I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
