just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
