please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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