Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
