Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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