She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
