me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
