Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
