Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
