Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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