why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
