I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
