Umm I'm too high to move.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
