you guys were way drunker than both of me
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
