Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
