Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
