OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
