**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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