My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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