the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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