Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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