I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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