I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The struggles of a small town man whore
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I wear drunk well.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
