After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
