You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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