I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
