Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
