He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
