i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
