I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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