All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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