New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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