worst night to have a conscience
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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