I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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