Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
