she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My dick has a subreddit
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
