Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
