Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
