fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
